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transcript below, provided by desiringgod.org:
A podcast listener named Zack writes in to ask: “You have mentioned many times before the glorious role of a woman being a mother and a homemaker. Biblically speaking though, what role does the husband have in homemaking and in caring for children? What responsibility does he carry?”
Yeah. The husband bears the joyful, weighty responsibility of overseeing and leading the household so that each of the members flourishes to the fullest extent that God has planned. That is the simplest way to say it, the big overarching statement. He is the overseeing responsible one, which involves he gives guidance for forming and formulating the moral vision of the family. What does he stand for? What are its ultimate goals? What is the tone of it? What is the spirit of the family, the structures of the family, the expectations of the family? This oversight involves primary responsibility for protection in the family, physically and morally and spiritually. It involves the primary responsibility for providing for the family. It involves the ... a servant heart that leads by modeling rather than mere commanding. And it involves cultivating joy as the indomitable atmosphere, because of the gospel and the sovereignty of God. And everyone of those let me just tick off a few Bible verses for those observations.
The husband is the head of the wife, Ephesians five. That means he is leader. He gives guidance and that is what the head does to the other parts of the body. The eyes are in the head. The ears are in the head. The tongue and the voice is in the head. The brain is in the head. Of course, it doesn’t mean the other parts of the body don’t have their responsibility before God in their own way. It just means there is a unique role for the husband to lead. He is like the Savior. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and his himself its savior, which means, I take it, something like a protector, a deliverer. He guards the family from moral evil and physical evil.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her, which means all this leadership and all this protection is sacrificial. He is not overbearing. It is uplifting. He leads like Christ. He remembers that Jesus said: You remember like the nations they all like to be called benefactors and boast as great men. It shall not be so among you. Who is greater? The one who sits at table or the one who serves? I am among you as one who serves. So he is telling dads: Serve your kids. Serve your wife. Let servant leadership mark your oversight of the home.
And then this word of cherishing in Ephesians 5:28. In the same way: Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it as Christ does the Church. So there is a nourishing and a cherishing. The husband is a provider. He provides nourishment. He doesn’t sit back and expect his wife to provide for the family. He takes primary responsibility and they work it out together, both of them using their gifts to provide for this family. And he does it... he does all this, Tony, with joy.
In Deuteronomy 6:1 or 6:6: Let these words that I command you be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up. That is the peculiar teaching function of dads. And the reason I say dads is because in Ephesians six it says: Children obey your parents in the Lord. And then moves in verse and say: Fathers, bring them up in the discipline and the structure of the Lord. And all of this instruction has at the center of it: I spoke these things to you that my joy might be in you and that your joy might be full.
So the father carries the burden of shaping the Spirit and structures the man power of the family with ...a and is shaping the child’s character and the child’s skills and the world view of the child all as a servant of the Lord with joy, because he is a little pastor. And Hebrews 13:17 says: Obey your leaders. Submit to them. Let them do this with joy for that would be of no advantage to you if they did it with groaning.
So dads who lead their kids and their wives with groaning are not serving them. They are... we are. We men are little pastors in our home. WE have a little church there and we are responsible to lead that little church, create the vision of that little church, create the spirit and the atmosphere for that church and it is to be one of joy so that the kids realize that to be happy in God is really what life is about.
Thank you Pastor John. Thank you for listening to the podcast. So John Piper, what steals your joy? That’s the question on the table for tomorrow’s Ask Pastor John podcast. Until then please continue to send us your email questions to askpastorjohn AT desiringgod DOT org. And visit us online at desiringgod DOT org to find thousands of books, articles, sermons, and other resources from John Piper all free of charge. … I’m your host, Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening.
John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books, including Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist and most recently Why I Love the Apostle Paul: 30 Reasons.
This podcast originally appeared at Desiring God | Original Post Date: January 14, 2014